Naruto
Get yourself someone who
by Gracelte
He'd been doing this for years. He'd dress for a nice date, appropriate to whatever restaurant had caught his fancy at the time, he'd pick up a red rose (the only valentine-y expense he was amenable to and only because it served a higher purpose), let himself into the restaurant, ask for a table for two(though he most certainly wasn't expecting any company), seat himself and after the first half an hour, proceed to put on the most awkward air he could pull off without overdoing it.