Star Wars - idrilhadhafang - 100 Days of Darkpilot -- #5: Threesome

Sleep and Kylo Ren never were on friendly terms.

100 Days of Darkpilot -- #5: Threesome

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing. > > Author's Notes: First time writing Rey's character that's published to AO3 (not counting tiny Rey). Hope I did all right. Also, yeah, skipping around again, but let's say my brain wouldn't shut up about this. Also very much an AU here where Rey and Ren aren't related.

His nights were the sorts that were used to the pull of the Light and the familiar sensations that came with it. The memories that came with it as well, the sorts of memories that he preferred to block out. The Academy, before the massacre. The Academy during the massacre, for that matter, soaked with rain with bodies lying everywhere. Happier times with his

_no, Ben Solo’s_

family. Worse times with his family. His nights were usually the types that found himself in his quarters communing with his grandfather’s helmet.

He found a strange solace in it. Others would find it odd, but it was as if he were calling on the strength of a man that he knew was his better

_a man of such greatness that he knew he would never ever be as strong as_

calling on the strength to sustain himself no matter what the cost. To be strong. Grandfather, after all, likely never had these weaknesses. He never worried about whether or not what he was doing was just, if he had made the right decision, if, if, if --

If. Always “if”. “If” seemed to be what drove his worse thoughts, these thoughts that drew him to the Light. If I made the right decision. If --

“Kylo.”

Kylo Ren knew that voice. Kira Ren’s voice. He would have recognized the Coruscanti-accented voice of the woman formerly known as Rey Shan anywhere.

“Kira,” he said. “You haven’t been sleeping well.”

“Neither have you.”

It was true. Sleep and Kylo Ren had never been on friendly terms. Of course, Ben Solo had had his sleeping difficulties, but they had never been as bad as Kylo Ren’s now. He usually did what he could to reorient himself after a vivid nightmare that seemed to serve to shove the atrocities he committed in his face. Watching one of his grandfather's speeches usually did the trick. For a moment, Kylo Ren was reminded of who he was supposed to be, as opposed to who he wasn’t.

And Kira, meanwhile...usually, she managed to get to sleep by thinking of an ocean, of the island. Even that, however, had been shaken ever since they had successfully killed Luke Skywalker. The island had been shaken for both of them.

“You dreamed about Plutt, didn’t you?” The dealer had never physically harmed her, but the wretch had managed to hurt her in other ways. Making her feel degraded, worthless. Making her do his dirty work. It still outraged Kylo, thinking of how Plutt could do that to such a wonderful, precious being such as Kira. There had been something about finding her on Jakku at eighteen that had kicked in a long-buried sort of protective instinct, and he had felt a strange sort of kinship with the young scavenger that he hadn’t felt in quite some time.

Kira nodded. “I do,” she said.

“He’s still left his marks on you.”

“I hate him,” she said. “How he treated me -- how he treated so many. Keeping himself rich and the others poor, all on purpose -- ’’

“And he deserves your anger, Kira.”

“I could kill him,” she said.

“When we catch up to him, you can do the honors.”

“You don’t have to tell me. I’m already planning on it.”