Star Wars - cbob13

In a moment of selfishness, Rey takes Kylo's hand in the throne room. Feeling that she's betrayed the resistance, conflict guides her choices. But when Kylo's actions lead her right back to a certain Jedi Master, can she convince Ben Solo to truly let the past die and move on?

1. The Throne Room

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! I originally posted the first two chapters of this story on fanfiction.net but I had some trouble getting into my account on there, so I'm posting it on here. Hope you enjoy!

“You have no place in this story.  You’re come from nothing.  You’re nothing… But not to me.”

The words rang in my ears.  He wasn’t wrong.  My whole life all I’ve been was some garbage picker from Jakku, just trying to stay alive.  Did he really mean that?  Why would he possibly care about me?  He’s someone who has brought absolute terror to me, his family, the galaxy…

“Rey, I want you to join me.  Please.”

Ben held out his hand to me.  He had this look in his eyes.  He was desperate.  I know that look.  When I looked into his eyes I saw someone who had known what it was like to be completely and utterly alone.  I knew because that’s the look that I had in my eyes every day on Jakku; waiting for a family that was never coming back.  Could I really do what he was asking?  Let go of my past.  I don’t want to ‘rule the galaxy’ like he’s suggesting.  But… I wonder what it would be like to have someone understand.

The whole ship around us is falling to pieces, and he’s asking for my hand.  It’s like everything was going to be okay, and now we’re on opposite sides of this war again.  This isn’t right, I saw his future.  He was going to turn and come back to the light, I was sure of it… but maybe his future is yet to come.  Maybe his vison of my future has to come true first before his does.

He’s standing there with that look in his eyes yearning for an answer.  My mind stops thinking and my actions are a blur to me.  My whole body is paralyzed except for my arm.  I lift it up to reach out to him, but I hesitate.  For a split second I think about it once more before my mind is made up.

I’m broken from my paralysis when my arm moves again and _I place my hand on top of his._

His look change from despair to a mixture of shock and relief.  For a split second I thought I saw him smile.  My hand fits perfectly on top of his.  His thumb brushed the back of my hand.  His glove feels rough on my skin but strangely comforting at the same time.  I felt the briefest moment of relief, and then all hell broke loose.

Everything was peaceful then all of a sudden a blinding light ripped through the ship at the speed of light.  The force of the blast knocked me down.  The entire throne room was washed with a white light.  In the ruckus Ben collapsed onto me.  No, he was shielding me.  His entire body was covering mine and his hand cradled my head to protect it.  The light passed almost as quickly as it came.  I took a minute for my eyes to adjust back to normal.  Ben climbed off of me and stood up.  He held his hand out to me, _again_.  I took it and picked myself up.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“Yeah I’m fine.  What the hell was that?”

He walked over to the window.  It’s a miracle this room was still intact.  Whatever hit the ship was very close to hitting them.

“The resistance cruiser.” He scoffed.

“It rammed through the ship at light speed.  I can only wonder who had the audacity to come up with a stunt like that.”

He started to swiftly make his way to the exit.  “The resistance is down on its last legs if we make it to my ship we can end this once and…”

“Ben.”  I can’t believe what he is saying.  “What happened to letting the past die? Forget about the resistance and the first order.”

I walk over to him and take both of his hands in mine.  “Let’s go somewhere where none of that matters, where we can leave it all behind.  Don’t just turn into snoke and finish his bidding.”

“Rey!  I am not him and you know it.  You agreed to go with me.  We don’t have time for this, we need to get off this ship now.  Everything else can be discussed later, okay?”

That feeling of comfort is gone.  It’s been replaced by the cold stare of Supreme Leader Kylo Ren.  What have I done?  I’ve betrayed all of my friends by being selfish.  I should have known that this would backfire, but I say what is going to keep me in one piece for right now.

“Okay.”

2. Under Different Circumstances

We made it onto his shuttle before the systems stared shutting down on Snoke’s ship.  Looking back at the destruction, it was almost spectacular.  The resistance cruiser cut a perfect line in the star destroyer.  The ship was cut into two pieces, and both were slowly starting to deteriorate.  I looked over to Ben in the pilot’s seat.  He was angry.  His knuckles were grasping the controls like they were the only thing on this earth keeping him sane.  His discomfort showed all over his face.  You think since he killed his abusive master and I decided to join him he would be a little more chipper.