Brother in Arm

“Lurch, take this down,” I said. “Wanted: one older brother. Kind, helpful, pragmatic, good with explosives, knives, guns, darts, swords, and any other weaponry imaginable. Food and home provided.”“Make sure he’s handsome,” Grandmama insisted.“Handsome preferred, and—”A small explosion left us all coughing happily, but Morticia made a soft, sad noise at the sight of Cleopatra’s broken frond. Poor dear.“And perhaps a metal arm,” she said, exasperated, taking the frond gently as Wednesday apologised.I nodded, and wheezed to Lurch, “And a metal arm. Submit to all the papers with the address, Lurch, thank you.”