If You Bring Home a Cat, I'm Leaving You

“No, Ron!” “But why, ‘Mione? She’s eight years old, she deserves a pet!” “She had a pet!” Hermione shrieked. “We, currently, have a pet! One! We had two, until you let her take the Pygmy Puff out of his cage and couldn’t catch him before he hung himself on my strappy silver sandals! Now, we only have the crup, who hates me, who you insisted that Rose needed to have because ‘every girl needs a dog’ even though you literally know zero girls with dogs, who you insisted would really be ‘your’ dog the way that Crookshanks was always more ‘my’ cat, and who I had to Immobilize this morning to give him his suppositories while you slept in!”