looking pretty in your

this moment reminds el of when they were younger, the first week of her life, when she met mike and lucas and dustin. when she was hiding in mike's basement like a stray dog he was feeding. when she was so, so scared but her friends made it better, even when they didn't like her. when mike taught her what the word friend meant.their roles were reversed, back then. mike spent a lot of his time comforting her. he'd sit next to her, talking away, and suddenly she wouldn't feel so alone. she wouldn't feel like a monster, or a weapon, or a freak. she'd just be a kid. el doesn't think she'll ever be able to fully repay mike for everything he did for her. she used to try, thinks that's why she stayed with him for so long even when it was getting really bad. but she's realized that love isn't a transaction. she doesn't owe anyone anything.but she wants to give this to him. she wants to help. because she loves him, and that's a choice she's making.(or: gender crises are best served rare, but we also serve well-done.)