When You Accidentally

Hawks dug his hands deep into his blond locks and made an extended ‘hurhghgghgh’ sound. This was bad—this was so bad, he’d never done anything this bad in his life—His phone buzzed in his pocket.“Hawks, we’re married.” Dabi said when he made the mistake of answering it.Hawks’ already hollow smile frosted over. Almost by itself, his thumb tapped the ‘end call’ button. The furniture mover watching him looked confused. His phone started ringing again.“I’m serious dipshit!” Dabi yelled this time. “We’re actually married!”“No we’re not.” Hawks said pleasantly, shaking his head.“Yes we are.”“Dabi,” He began placatingly.“We. Are. Married.”“We’re not married!” Hawks broke down hysterically, turning away from the guy whose eyes went wide in shock at his outburst. “That’s not even legal in Japan!”“Oh for the love of—go to the nearest marriage registry and you better tell me that this marriage certificate I found in that hotel is a joke!”Or: DabiHawks get blackout drunk and wake up married. Much to both their horror.