can't imagine what i'm about to say

“You know, honey, your mom is going to absolutely kill you for this.”“I know.”“But do you? I’m serious. She’s terrifying—in hindsight, maybe I should’ve freaked out! I’m going to need to start calling funeral homes by the end of the day before you can even get yourself home. Carlos, you’re going to leave me behind; a widow, only age seventeen—"“We’re not even married!” Carlos cries.“—Carlos Rodriguez, age seventeen, death by homicide, because he got shady stick-and-poke tattoos in awful visible places and his terribly scary mother killed him—”“Seb!”-or, carlos has never been one to back down from a dare, and secretly gets a few stick-and-poke tattoos