how wanted how important

Now, Miya observes his birthday with a pit in his stomach. He spends the day wringing his hands and trying to distract himself by skating or studying or playing video games. He reminds himself, over and over and over again, not to let himself hope for too much.

Every year, he hopes anyway. And every time, those hopes are painfully crushed. It never seems to sting any less, but Miya’s gotten used to how it hurts.

It's Miya's fourteenth birthday, and he expects to spend it all alone. That doesn't mean it's what he wants, though.