what my heart just yearns to say (in ways that can't be said)

Lan Wangji had not wanted to leave Cloud Recesses.Lan Wangji hates Koi Tower. He hates the gaudy decorations, which reflect the light and hurt his eyes no matter where he positions himself. He hates the endless corridors, a maze that he cannot work out the way through. He hates the lack of rules, the only things that kept him together through all the changes over the decade after his mother died. He hates the way every word has a double meaning that he can never manage to parse, the way people plan and scheme, the way they talk about him behind his back (not that that is much different to Cloud Recesses, in spite of the rules against gossip).He can still wear his forehead ribbon, still keep the strict hours and diet that he had been raised on. But it is not the same. It is not home.~In which Lan Wangji grows into his life as Jin Zixuan's wife