separation

in which tooru learns just how hard goodbyes can be.

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He'd wanted to insist on staying with them, the way they were insisting that he had to go. Because he wants to be able to wake up to their faces every morning, to be yelled at by Hajime when he burns the eggs he tries to cook for breakfast, to feel Koushi's soft lips on his cheek before he gently pushes him aside to try and salvage their meal. He wants to cuddle with them on whatever shitty couch they manage to find for their probably too-tiny apartment, taking turns picking movies to watch (and inevitably bickering and insulting each other for their choice in movie). He wants to kiss away the stressed wrinkle in Hajime's brow as he glares down at his homework as if he could set it on fire with his eyes alone, to dance around the house and sing along much too loudly to obnoxious pop music with Koushi...hell, he even wants to do the boring stuff like paying bills and shopping for groceries with them. He wants it all so badly that he physically aches, but...

He says nothing about any of that, and he decides to go.