I eat human flesh (don’t worry, it’s not cannibalism).

Alright, so during middle school and before I grew a personality, I was a bit of a social outcast. It took me a while to figure out friends were something you were actually supposed to have. I was the kind of kid to wander off and do my own thing, until I looked up and realized everyone else had left to do whatever it was tweens did, without me.

… Never outright bullied, though. Chalk that up to an early growth spurt? One that had my old gym teacher calling me a ’freak of nature’.

Keep that all in your back pocket.Saying what happened was "a camping trip gone wrong" would be the understatement of the century.