In Which a Dumbass Sacrifices Himself to Keep His Pitchpale Crush from Being Culled and Other Tales of Romance

God, you are so fucking stupid. Did you take an extra shot of dumb idiot juice this morning? Have you spent so much time talking to Gamzee that you’ve lost pan cells through association? Hell, maybe your mutation affected your thinkpan, and you have some kind of switch locked in an especially rank corner of your subconscious that flips exactly when you have to make a decision that could lead to you getting put on the cull list! At this point, you wouldn’t be surprised in the slightest. Everything about you is already stacked up to make you as killable as possible, why not this too?