i feel your love loud

the first time to run to your best friend's house at 3AM when he can't breathe from the panic, the first time he kisses you with that new chapstick that you only sort of hate, the first time you show up to his place and he's wearing a floral patterned skirt and hair extensions, the first time he leaves you with a black eye and the silence stretches on between you two for weeks, the first time you tell him no in all honestly because you can't bear to drown your sorrows in sex, the first time you have way too much fun at a party together and he has to rub your back as you're hunched over a toilet, and the first time you're apart in over ten years and the distance never seemed so damn far.