watching the chemtrails over the country club

oh my god. I don't know why this feels so vaguely misogynistic at timez - prob. the abuse & objectification & sex . but i swear i was only trying to emulate carmen maria machado's and ottessa moshfeg's style, which is what i read the most OF but my own writing i swear fails me when i try to emulate it . Anyway. warning for any lines that stray into that territory, i swear it was not intentional & im too lazy and uninvested to like edit .very sad piece from me again . very much was supposed to be like oh sad rich kid grown up :) veered into its own adultery territory . been done a hundred times for dair . been done a hundred times by me . i have no real feelings for this . think it very much lost itself towards the end.