A Letter to My Ardent

I am Loki Laufeyson, a handsome and cunning man who was always meant to rule. But, despite being a monster who can never find love anywhere, many of my adoring fans see me as a poor, wounded child who can be saved by love-and especially saved by the love of a pure-hearted woman. I am so sick of seeing this truly disgusting interpretation of me on the vast database known to mortals as the Internet that I have decided to disprove these ideas once and for all. Take a look at this letter, and follow these guidelines thoroughly. If you do not, then I can assure you that the next letter will not be as kind as this one.