Spider Lilies Bloom Like

In winter, the colors are so numb and faded that Dazai feels a little too empty to bear. The weather of winter reminds him of blood against snow and tears against cheeks.Spring is so fresh and new that Dazai feels that it’s a shame for something like him to exist for yet another beautiful new birth of life. Beyond that, the same overused, recycled colors in the air and on the trees makes him sick with envy and boredom. He’s bitter down to the bones.The searing heat of summer reminds Dazai of birthdays nearing ominously, wisteria trees sweeping down, and hands, hands, hands. Summer makes him sweat and itch under the bandages. Summer makes him ache with old pains. Summer makes him burn with agony as the heat beats down against his second skin of paper wrappings.Autumn is so much more. The colors are never bland or dull, they’re full of life like the first drag of a good cigarette, late nights at Bar Lupin, and people like Odasaku, Chuuya, and everyone at the Armed Detective Agency.—This is basically a fic about Dazai’s perspective of the world and his depressing thoughts. It contains graphic depictions of depression so please be careful.